…off me and I feel bad but I don’t know what else to do. He just won’t listen”

I just wanted to make that one whole ask to make that simple on me and everyone reading. Now I don’t have to answer this in two parts and break up my answer to publish both parts of the ask.

I’ve never heard of two people with Asperger’s dating. I would ask how it is, but from what you tell me, it’s not too great. I’m kind of dumbfounded how a person with Aspergers couldn’t understand why you don’t want to be touched. I understand he doesn’t have sensory issues like you, but still. Just seems kind of vein. Like I have no advice on this one. He Autistic like you, so he should understand it does things you cannot control. And you told him from the beginning you don’t like touch and have reexplained you don’t like touch, and yet he continues to do it. I would make a big deal out of it and tell him to stop fucking touching you because it bothers you. I mean I know what you’re going through, when I had a girlfriend that lived with me, we would snuggle and sleep together every night, and some nights I couldn’t cuddle because I couldn’t be touched. But I don’t understand how he doesn’t understand. All I can advice is to make a big deal, cause an argument, and tell him either he stops or it’s over. It’s a very simple request. It’s not like you’re asking for much. And I understand how important touch, hugging, and kissing is to a relationship, but he’s not even trying to respect your boundaries you are setting. Idk. I’d fight and/or end the relationship. You deserve someone that respects and listens to you.

I used to be extremely unempathetic, but over time I learned to be empathetic by listening to people and trying to understand them. Being empathetic as an Autistic person isn’t easy and doesn’t come naturally to many of us. It takes a lot of effort, listening, and just overall giving a shit. I have an aversion to touch also, most people on the spectrum have an aversion to one of the 5 senses, if not more. Mine are touch and light. It’s hard to be nice, I’m not going to lie to you, but that isn’t as much you and your Autism as it is people and those people being huge douchebags. And I’m sorry people think that of you when you act like yourself. People don’t really understand people like us and that the lack of emotions, selfishness and bitchiness, daydreams, and lack of caring aren’t as blunt and simple as they think. The lack of emotions is something we can’t control and might be as much about empathy as the actual emotions, because of our social inadequacies. The selfishness and bitchiness are from a lack of understanding of bluntness and not empathizing. I mean people expect us to understand and function like them, but never take the time to understand us. It’s like we’re sub humans to be avoided and exiled. Don’t pay too much mind to it. But I really didn’t see a question anywhere in there or anything I really could give you advice on, is there anything I could help with?

As much as I research Autism and do Autism stuff on Tumblr, I really don’t follow any “faces of Autism” type blogs. If you are even considering making a blog, please do so! A different perspective can do nothing but help if your intention is to help people, even if there are blogs similar to yours.

I’m not atheist, but I do not believe in religion, same difference. I use to consider myself atheist, but then I realized that it’s not that I don’t believe in god, it’s that I don’t give a flying fuck about religion in general, it isn’t for me. I personally believe organized religion ruined religion, and is nothing but a way to separate yourself from everyone else, a way to say you’re better, and an excuse to hate other people. Don’t mistake that for me hating people that are religious, I respect those who believe in a religion and actually follow it and are good people that do not force their beliefs on me. My entire family is Christian and I was raised it, but I stopped when I was 13. And bam, I’m now non religious.

It deleted my paragraph answer. Tumblr needs to stop being a dick, seriously. In a nutshell, at that age I was starting to develop socially and started to fit in and have friends, having 2 years of practice under my belt. I wasn’t thriving, but I wasn’t struggling that much. And in my original answer I said I basically only remember losing my virginity, and that’s all I remember from that age. I’m sorry if you were looking for a serious answer, my memory is absolute shit. I literally can only remember losing my virginity, I was a sad, boring kid who got laid for the first time when I was 14-15. Bahahahahahahaha omg.

Well, it’s up to you whether you go through with the diagnosis or not. Some people make their Autism a large part of their life. Some people never really mention it to other people and just live their life. Let’s say you do have it and professional gives you a proper diagnosis, would that change anything for you? If so, then go for it. If you need that validification, do it. I needed it. I’m not ashamed to admit that. The stigma around mental illness is that anyone that self diagnoses themselves they are a crazy hypochondriac. You almost need a professional to reassure you that you aren’t crazy and have a piece of paper that says so for anyone to take you seriously. That’s the pathetic truth of it. If you need any help at all or have any more question or would like a second opinion, and that goes for any of my followers too, just shoot me a message. I’ll tell you if I think you do if you’d like. I really don’t know if that will help but I mean anything if it makes someone feel better. I’m here to help. Just let me know!

Well, do they know you have Autism? Before I get into this I need to know that first haha.

I would definitely continue through with the diagnosis process if you’re that invest time wise and research wise. Don’t doubt yourself so much on it. If you look for a place that specializes in Autism or call around and ask if the places you are considering going are knowledgeable in Autism you’ll have a far more positive experience next time. They’ll treat you better, take you more seriously, and be able to properly diagnose you better. So just overall better. I would do it. Let me know if you need any sort of help with any of that! 

I was diagnosed by my therapist who I had been seeing for 4 years give or take. If I were you, google for places that specialize or are knowledgeable on Autism and call around to confirm they are properly educated and able to diagnose Autism. It will save you time and a metric assload of frustration. If you need help finding a place or help anywhere along the line let me know!

If you’ve really put that much time, effort, and research into it anon, I would really trust your self diagnosis. Let’s be really honest. you know more about Autism right now than most therapist and general practitioners. It’s the really sad truth. If you’ve gone through that many tests and they all reaffirm your belief that you are Autistic, I would go for it. The stereotypes and general overall view of mental health and Autism and particular are ridiculous. People don’t take mental health seriously. And I feel you pain, I have family members that still say that type of things to me. I’ve been diagnosed for years, and they still say things like “He’s too well adjusted to be Autistic, I know other Autistic people and they’re nothing like him, he’s doing it for attention and an excuse for anything negative that happens in his life.” Some of your family is going to be completely ignorant to it, and you can only hope they they will take the time to understand. It’s really sad, I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t know if a therapist would be the best way to go for a diagnosis, I would search around on google for places around you that specializes in Autism, if possible. Or call around and ask if the places you are thinking of going instead and ask if they are knowledgeable in Autism. It will save you a metric fuckload of frustration, trust me. If you need help finding a place, I’ll be more than glad to. I believe you should go for it if you think it will help. I really hope it all works out for you. If you need help with any of that let me know.

If I see I’ll take a look at it. But overall I hate reading. I just really really like Cloud Atlas, it’s such a brilliant book. I’ve read maybe 50 books my entire life, I’m rather picky, but Cloud Atlas is an absolute masterpiece I recommend to anyone. David Mitchell is a genius. The Ghostwritten sounds epic too.

TW: Suicide (is that how I do a trigger warning? idk)

Me too anon. I’m not going to sit here and shame you for that. I mean the world is a really fucked up place, I can’t blame you whatsoever for wanting to get out of here. I hope you don’t and you feel better, but I’m not going to be the one and give you a lecture about how bad committing suicide is. Because it isn’t bad in my opinion. People should have control over their lives, and forcing someone to stay alive for your personal reasons is far more selfish than that same person wanting to end it.
So I really hope things get better for you, and you feel better.And you don’t end up killing yourself. I’m here if you need to talk. But as someone who feels the same way, I’m not going to shame you for being honest and admitting it.  

Honestly, you could just have no made a connection with someone, or people in your area could be unlikeable (like my area of Austintown, Ohio, I’ve never liked anyone from here and never will, fuck this place). I am in your boat, people thought I was gay too. We are so alike anon. So clearly it’s not abnormal if I had the same exact experience as you. So think nothing of it.
1.] I’m nearly positive Autism cannot determine if you are gay or straight. I’m consider myself straight, but for some guys I see, not so much. Like Dave Franco for instance. Whether you are gay or straight or bi or pan or asexual, I want to tell you all of that is awesome and I hope you find someone that makes you happy. Or you don’t have to label your sexuality, whatever floats your boat. Don’t worry about it. You’ll find someone in due time. If you don’t, I would advise to start experimenting either way. Then you’ll know what you are. If you would like help, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality because I questioned my orientation too, maybe I can help you out with that! Who the fuck knows what’s possible these days.
2.] Sometimes making a connection with someone can come down purely to luck. Not how attractive you are, not your orientation, not how good of a person you are, not any of that, just luck. So give it time. Or experiment if your impatient. No shame in figuring it out. And though many people say people with Autism cannot love (I had one of my ex’s parents tell me to break up with her daughter because I was Autistic, I cannot love, and I’m just wasting her time) but I believe we can. I’ve felt it. I know other’s have. But it is still a scary question, can some of us not feel love, or is it possible not to feel it because of Autism? I really don’t know. I’d like to know, because for years I was afraid I’d never fall in love because of what my ex’s parents said to me.

I hope that helped answer your question! 

I have the hugest crush on my best friend Crystal and have for like 2 years now. I think she is absolutely perfect and the most beautiful girl ever. I would do anything to have her, anything in the world. I think about her everyday. So I honestly know exactly what you’re feeling.
How to cope with it? I don’t know. I don’t do very well with it haha. It’s so unconditional for me. The problem you’re having is that it’s a feeling you’ve never had before, and you don’t know what to do with it? I think I know what you mean. I sometimes feel emotions that I don’t know what they are. I feel things and feel so confused and lost because I don’t really know what it is. It happens when I feel an emotion or a mix of emotions for the first time. I’m all perplexed and deep and thought and I’m completely unable to articulate what exactly I’m feeling. Is that what feeling you’re talking about? Because I need to know if we’re talking about the same feeling before I try to answer that difficult question haha. Trying to describe what it’s like not to be able to process an emotion and give advice on what to do is pretty hard.